When I got married, my in-laws introduced me to the concept of a "TL." It stands for trade-last, meaning that if you heard something good about someone, you could go up to that person and say, "I have a TL for you." Then the other person would need to say something nice about you, and then you would "trade" them for the good thing you heard about them. For me, it was an odd concept, but I was eager to fit in, so I played along.
It never really "took hold" with my own kids, but I've heard it so often, that it frequently pops into my head on certain occasions.....like the other day, when when my brother-in-law emailed me to say that I should be proud of the birthday card Ross sent to his Grandmom. Apparently he picked something with a very good sentiment, wrote some very touching things, and mailed it so that she received it on time (that's the key part, right?), all without being reminded by me. Wow...as a mother....that's pretty great to hear.
Then, I was shopping in Costco this week and I got a FB message from my friend Eric that simply said, "You got a good kid."
Like a Rolodex, my mind was scrolling through the whereabouts of my kids, so I could figure out "which kid" he was talking about. Immediately I thought, "Ah ha! Patrick must have arrived in Istanbul." :-) I then checked FB News Feed and saw that Christy had posted Patrick's arrival and that he was already bonding with their son Austin. Then, I read Patrick's message to me about how he bought some hostess presents for Eric and Christy, (without my prompting I might add), and again I thought, "wow...this is so great to hear!"
While not especially a "TL", writing this reminds me of the phone call I had with Christina recently, where she was telling me how she got up on time, took a train to Providence, taxi to the airport, and flew to Oregon (to see her Manila peeps for Thanksgiving), all the while successfully registering online for her next semester's classes. She just seemed so organized, grown up, and confident. She had a plan (that seemed pretty good to me) and called me after she executed it. Again....that's pretty great to hear!
Over the many years of parenting, I have wondered if any of my "parental instructions" would ever take hold. It seemed like the tunnel was so long, and the light very, very dim. However, with the events of the past week, I can clearly see that they have, each kid manifesting my instructions with their own personal interpretations.
As Thanksgiving approaches this week, I am especially thankful for my kids. I think of all the struggles I've had over the years, and the challenges we've faced, and I'm just so happy to be in this new chapter of our relationship. They do a wonderful job of showering me with their love and support, and I'm so appreciative of that, every day.
Hey R, P, & C: I just wanted you to know this....and,by the way, no trade is required. :-)
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